| | Help with a friend who cuts
I've been reading this message board to try and understand better what motivates people to harm themselves. I have a friend who has been harming herself for a number of years. She stopped and when severe depression set in, she started doing it again.
I understand that in order to stop this self-destructive habit she needs to develop new coping methods with the help of a professional. However, she refuses treatment.
I talk to her and sometimes when her emotional pain reaches high levels she starts thinking about cutting. Sometimes when that happens, she tells me and I try to talk her out of it. I tell her that it's a temporary relief and that it won't help in the long run and that she'll feel the need to do it again. It works but rarely, and usually she ends up cutting. Most of the times she doesn't even tell me. After she cuts, I tell her that I love her and it's okay because she tried her best and that I'm not disappointed or anything. I really am not. She's in a lot of pain and I understand that this is how she's used to dealing with pain.
My question to you is if you had a friend that you talked to before and after cutting, what would you want to hear? What kind of arguments can I present to stop her that have helped you to avoid harming yourself? And what things would you want to hear after you've cut, so as not to feel even worse about yourself.