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Old 01-15-2010, 08:52 AM   #3
lizoza lizoza is offline
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Re: Help with a friend who cuts

Thanks so much for your reply, Dan.
I have read hundreds (not an exaggeration) of articles about depression, suicidal ideation, and self harm to try to understand my friend better, since I haven't experienced those things myself. Some of the other causes for self harm that you mentioned do exist in her case (lack of control, numbness, punishing oneself).

I know that she needs professional help and drugs, but she adamantly refuses. Attempts to force her to seek treatment have proven futile and I don't think that I have enough influence over her to succeed in this. Her family is also incapable of handling this, it seems.

I wanted to know, from people who have harmed themselves, what would they want and need to hear when they are going through this. I don't want her to feel that I'm judging her in any way, but at the same time, obviously this is a self-destructive coping method that should be avoided. Is there anything to be said in such a situation that will make her either avoid cutting, or make her feel accepted and loved if she does cut?