Re: I need some advice , please help....
Thanks again for continuing to reply to my post. You are absolutely right I have to tell someone, and so today I sent an email out to a friend and told her when she has the time that i need a friend to talk to and its about a delicate topic. She responded said she would meet with me this week. I am very nervous about telling anyone, what I've been going through and just the hell I am dealing with right now all alone.
I imagine why there is such a split decision on telling people around you, its so very difficult to do. I never shared anything with my partner about a concern I have with getting tested, because I know he will react adversely to it. He has said made comments about hypothetically being ever suspecting something like that and reacted badly which made me more scared of asking for his support. I have a panic/despression disorder and I'm trying really hard to control it under these circumstances, which is why I've been very reluctant about telling someone else, because what they say or how they respond might send me into a panic mode.
It would be perhaps a it easier to deal with my mental state of mind if I didnt have this anxiety disorder but it makes things that much more difficult.
Kevin, thanks for allowing me the opportunity to express my concerns and feelings, and I hope I have not taken advantage of your time and generous advice and help. I am going to let you know how that conversation goes with my friend and ask her if she can support me through this difficult time and go with me to be retested.
May all be well with you and your family,