Re: I need some advice , please help....
I am happy for you that you have been able to confide in a friend and that your friend understands the anxiety you feel. I really do hope that in sharing this problem with somebody close to you that it has helped you and with this support you will be able to move forward and put this behind you.
You asked what symptoms I had. I had many, or should I say I convinced myself I had many. I had colds, night sweats, I developed a rash under my arms and I was continually probing and prodding my glands convincing myself they were swollen. I developed a coating on my tongue which again convinced me was a symptom. This may sound crazy now but the final straw came with insect bites. Yes you did read it correctly, insect bites. I was overseas and one night me and a few friends we were having a few drinks. It was hot and most of us were in shorts. The following morning I discovered one of my legs had been bitten, a lot. As the day wore on I really started to react violently to the bites, even my friends commented they had never seen such a reaction. Of course I got on the net and started goggling insect bites and HIV looking for a way to yet again confirm this was a symptom. There were a few sites that implied violent reactions to insect bites could be attributed to a weak immune system. That was enough for me; I honestly believed I had found the final symptom. I came home and checked in for a test immediately. I explained all the symptoms I had, including the insect bites. A very caring and understanding doctor, who worked with HIV daily, explained each one and summed up by saying she had heard or seen nothing to imply I had HIV. Absolute nothing, I was actually quite taken back. The result came through that day, negative. The point is that each and every symptom can be explained away by other possibilities and there are many of them.
Incidentally, the coating on my tongue, smokers tongue, I stopped smoking and it as gone. My glands were not swollen I had simply examined myself and believed they were. All the symptoms each and everyone were explained to me by this doctor. As for the insect bites she took my hand and said “please don't believe everything you read on the net". So there it is, I convinced myself through my own wrong self diagnosis I was HIV positive. Fortunately for me there are highly trained medical professionals who work with this daily who were in a position to put me right.
Please take heart from this; I can honestly say to you, hand on heart, that no matter how many symptoms you believe you have, there can be many other reasons for them, none of them related to HIV.
wantbhappy3, there is nothing wrong with asking for help; I kick myself many times because I didn't. Elizabeth is right, sometimes it helps to write it down, just to get it out. This forum is great for that, no matter how anxious you maybe, help is always here. And even through everybody on this board are complete strangers to one another, common experiences means that many members can relate to what you are going through. If it helps in any way to get you through it, please write it down and share. I believe there is a saying about a problem shared, it is so true. Help can come in many forms, from this forum, from your friend and ultimately from the medical staff you see. This is what they do, daily, please there is nothing feel guilty about because you asked for help.
Please take care, please see this through, you will be fine.
Last edited by blokecalledkev; 02-16-2010 at 08:38 AM.