Re: 17 and parents died
I have not been through this except that my step Dad killed himself and I know some of what you are going through. You will think you will go crazy. You will examine everything you did and question it and wonder what you could have done to have prevented it.
Let me tell you what I learned from my experience. There was NOTHING you could have done to have prevented it! NOTHING! When someone decides to do this, they are going to do it, it is just a matter of WHEN! What your Dad did had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING you did or didn't do!
You know that wasn't your Dad that actually pulled that trigger. His brain was sick and not thinking right, had he been himself, he would not have done it. God will forgive him since his brain was so sick. Life has a way of throwing things at some people that they are just not able to cope with, when all is said and done, you may find out what life had thrown at him that his mind just couldn't handle, you might not.
I was an adult when this happened to our family and I just can't imagine it happening to a 17 year old. My mind was better able to handle it and sort it all out and even then, I thought I was going to go crazy and I blamed myself for not doing more to have prevented it from happening. I had many friends that helped me through it, one friend especially would talk to me for hours on the phone and eventually he got through to me and made me understand there was nothing I could have done and none of it was my fault. He had a friend that had done it years before and knew exactly what I needed (a friend that cared and would talk to me about what I was feeling and going through). I URGE you to find a suicide support group right NOW to help you through this. It helps to talk about it and to talk to other people who have been where you are right now. You need someone to help you get through this that has been where you are. Ask the police or call a suicide hotline and ask for a support group near you. Ask everyone you can where to find a support group and do it NOW! You will need help to sort it all out. You will need someone to talk to, maybe for hours at a time.... and you will need someone who has been through it to help get you through it.
My heart goes out to you and your family. You WILL get through this and remember, it had nothing to do with you, what you did or didn't do!
Last edited by Lulubells; 03-28-2010 at 07:17 AM.