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Old 04-20-2010, 08:44 AM   #1
zm1111zm zm1111zm is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Female having trouble making close female friends, any ideas?

I am a young woman interested in finding friendships with other women.
Have never managed to do this very well. Used to be shy and not try enough, but now I really do try, and social life is ultimately the same (they never call, they never write)

For those of you women who are the type to always have a "best friend" and friends who call, text, want to hang out, how do you attract these types of friendships?

I can get to the point I meet people I like (in a class, club, online, etc.) and exchange phone #s or email, then I call or email them and never get a response. (I just try to keep the email or voicemail fairly short, upbeat, suggest getting together, but no responses.) Or

on the occassion when I think I am making a friend and we go somewhere (lunch or whatever) and she says she had a great time, wants to do it again, so after awhile I'll send a text/email/phone call (depending on how I met the person) (usually get voice mail when calling) and never hear back. And they always have my contact info. too, so they could have called/texted first but never do...

In this case, sometimes I will try a 2nd time, but there is never a response the 2nd time. That is where I draw the line, because I am no stalker!

I realize this kind of thing happens a lot, people are busy, etc. but does no one want to put 50% effort into a friendship? No one wants a new friendship? I feel like the only person on the planet without a little group to hang out with!

I am not a naturally bubbly extrovert, but I really try to be friendly, ask people questions about themselves, etc. so I would think there would be someone out there who is looking for friends who would respond but.... no...

Honestly, I feel like I could more easily make male friends, but women friends, which I what I really want (being I am married) I can't seem to figure out.

I feel like there must be some secret to finding that close friend and I've never cracked the code. My problem used to be lack of trying, but now I do try, so what to think?

Is it normal for it to be this hard to make friends, and how do you ladies with a group of friends all do it?

You meet in class or work, etc., meet outside class/work for coffee, etc. (it's always I who has to suggest it. I don't get approached. But I don't know what else I can do besides be the one to suggest it.) Then what happens to keep the friendship going?

How do you, say, move somewhere new for a job and meet someone and get the friendship to the point where that person actually calls you half the time and wants to do things on a regular basis?

I know there is a "natural high" that comes when you first make a new friend and that disappears after the first meeting, and life's business takes over, but surely someone out there wants my friendship.

I don't want my life to always be this way.

Do I just keep trying and trying or what? Is it "normal" to have to do that or?

It doesn't seem like it takes other people this long... so I would like to hear from those people, how do you do it?