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Old 04-20-2010, 08:33 AM   #2
curly fry curly fry is offline
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Re: Female having trouble making close female friends, any ideas?

I can relate to how you are feeling 100%! Moving to another state, after I had been living where I was my whole life and have had the same set of friends since elementary school, I found myself friendless!!! And I was THE social butterfly of the group. But then I moved and I've just haven't met any girlfriends. At first, I knew some girls and we got together a lot (because they so happened to live in my BFs building, and we had other connecting factors). But then they started relationships and got TOO dramatic in their relationships. So we stopped hanging out after a while. Then there was another set. We went out a few times and kept in comunication. But I felt they were too clicky for me and I always felt like the odd ball out. ME! Out of all people! Needless to say, this is just not my comfort zone. Then recently, I met a girl who seemed cool but got REALLY stalkerish and that just turned me off to the idea of meeting girl friends.

At first I thought there was something wrong with me (see my first post if interested) and people made me feel bad for not having girlfriends. But this is not college (or school) and it is harder to meet women in the real world because a lot of tend to come of stand off-ish. And after a while, people already have their set of friends, and like you mention, many don't want to put the effort in making new friends. It's really a lot work. In my original group of friends (which I love and unfortunately they're far away) we losely spoke about vaginas, sex/ sexuall things, sex toys, periods, etc (not that we're overly sexual, but we talked about it!!!). Here, I seriously can't even remember when I mentioned the word vagina out loud! It's just a comfort that took YEARS to build and that we grew up with it together. And frankly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable with another set of friends. I just don't think it can happen for me. But I am pretty ok with and I'm pretty happy now that I stopped worrying about not having a girl friend/ trying to find one.

Yes it would be awesome to have girl friends to go to the mall, movies, have slumber parties, and just hang out. But its also somethng that I learned I could do with out.

Sorry, I didn't really give you any tips on making girlfriends. But it really doesn't have to do with you. It has to do with the other person. You can meet as many people as you can, but that won't guarentee that she is going to call you back. Some people are just flakey!