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Old 04-29-2010, 05:52 AM   #4
jbrosenfeld jbrosenfeld is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Re: help with dating someone with borderline

Thanks Rlover,

I am fully aware that people with borderline can love. If anything I feel they can probably love deeper then non-borderline people. Being non-borderline, I am able to control my emotions and use my mind to sometimes limit the dept of them.

Right now, the only real "issue" that has come up, is that she does think about me all the time. She wants to spend every minute with me. And then when I say no you need to do your thing and I need to do my thing, she gets a little hurt. She doesn't say anything but I can tell she's hurt and feels rejected. Now, if I hang out with her (and she would like it to be everyday from the moment I get off work until I wake up), then she doesn't have time to get her stuff done, such as doing taxes or paying bills. Once those things start to pile up, she starts to get stressed about all the stuff she needs to do and then feels resentful towards me, becuase she feels that I have been holding her back from doing what she needs to do?

A couple of days ago, I started to kind of direct her on how to balance these things. She has put off her taxes but needs to do them and she's all panicky about might having to owe. So, I had her break down everything that needed to be done and split it over three days. Then told her what to do last night and had her call me when she completed each task. Do you think this might work, in this type of situation? This is something I would do with anyone I was with if they had difficulty getting things done, because sometimes tasks seem huge to me but it's easier for me to get it done if I break it down into little chunks.

Any other advise from any borderline's and little ways to kind of ward off some of the extreams and disregulations?