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Old 04-30-2010, 06:38 AM   #6
rlover rlover is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Re: help with dating someone with borderline

I agree with the previous reply. I suffer from rather mild BPD and as I get more therapy I come to understand more and more. A person cannot fool themselves forever! The tragedy is, the more good-intentioned support from a BF I recieve, the more I cling. I am trying to find out why. In the meantime, this is so tiring for him!
My previous relationship was with a nice guy for 7 years- he did every thing for me. He did my taxes, he paid the bills, he gave me advice, he soothed me. I in turn did all the cooking, cleaning, social organizing, and gave him affection. The problem was, I was also a leech! Yes, I recognize that. No matter how much direction he gave me it was never enough, and exactly, I resented him WHENEVER anything even unrelated to him went wrong. Like, he was my body-guard, protector, and somehow he should have stopped all wrong things from happening. I loved him the best I was able but somehow, since he got involved in things he should not have (accessive reassurance, guidance, protection, etc), all boundaries were down.
Advice to the guys who are involved with BPD: please keep all boundaries up, forever. We BPD's simply take, and once in that mindframe need more and more. It is hard to explain, b/c it is a feeling and that feeling is a black hole. Basically guys, take care of yourselves, don't get caught up with her needs when they are emotion-based. Refer the BPD to a therapist when she has tantrums or crises.