Thank you both SO MUCH!
I needed to hear that, totally.
I think there MAY be some tiny bit of me that wouldn't say no if in some hypothetical situation something romantic or intimate could happen. But just once. And no, I really DON'T want to actually date her or be in a relationship with her. She's too high maintenance, high-strung, stressed out, she drinks a bit, smokes, has kids, it's SO not what I want for my life!!! My girlfriend IS what I want which is why I'm happy.
So. There ya go!
I will TRY and quit with the over-thinking, as hard as it is. I have a feeling that won't happen till my crush wears off, which I do expect will happen at some point. Can't maintain it forever with nothing to encourage it.
In the meantime, I will accept she DOES like me as a FRIEND, and be very grateful for that, and reciprocate.
Edit - OH, and as far as me not already telling her that (a) I'm gay, and (b) I have feelings for her, well, I don't really worry about that. If I was single and actually wanted to BE with her, then I may eventually explode and blab it to her, but no. That's not gonna happen. I'm going to most likely tell her I'm gay at some point, cause I trust her and I know she's all good with homosexuality in general, so...that's all fine. But I'd never tell her how I feel about HER. No need to.