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Old 07-18-2010, 08:23 AM   #1
soviet soviet is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10
soviet HB User
Newbie: Mother diagnosed with Uterine Cancer

Hi Everyone,

I really wish that I didn't have to search out this message board, but unfortunately this is where I am right now.

I live in a different town to my mom, so don't get to see her very often - but two weeks ago my brother went up to see my mom and found her in a terrible state, she could barely move, lost a lot of weight, and had collapsed three times while he was there. We had found out that she hadn't eaten for three weeks, and could only pass water, nothing else. My mom hates hospitals, because to her they mean death, she doesn't care if she breaks her leg or whatever, she refuses to go to the hospital. Anyway, my brother persuaded my mother to have a blood test (it was on a Friday and it took him three hours), on Monday the Dr rushed over to her house and said that she needed to be admitted to the hospital as her calcium was through the roof.
I was already on my way to her house at this point, and when I saw her I couldn't contain myself and had to leave the room to cry, she looked so bad. It was so upsetting to see your own mother in this state, where she could barely talk. It took my brother and I two hours to get her to the hospital, but thankfully she went - we got to the hospital and didn't leave till midnight - this was due partly to waiting but mostly due to seeing the nurses then the Dr and then x-ray. The Dr said that there was a 90-95% of Cancer, but a CT scan would determine the truth, so that night she was admitted to the hospital (that was on the 5th July), and she didn't get the CT scan done till the 13th July.
As I had to go back home due to work, my little brother was the only one who could stay - the Dr spoke to him about the results from the scan and also from continuous blood samples. What he said was that her Cancer was pretty severe, and without medication/chemo etc, that she would only have weeks to live.
The thing is my mother has been so difficult with everything, she refuses whatever they ask her to do, to be honest I think it's a miracle that she stayed in hospital - but she is refusing a biopsy, and further more, refusing treatment. She checked out of hospital on Friday, as they can't force her to stay as she can speak for herself, and believe me we've all tried to get her to just do the biopsy so they can determine what form of Cancer it is and go from there. But she won't listen, she thinks that we're all horrible people and she now refuses to speak to my brothers and has said that she will get a court order banning them from coming near her home. I managed to calm her down on Saturday, as she was freaking out - thinking they would come over and force her to the hospital. No one is going to force her to do anything, but if she doesn't do anything...it's going to be too late.

This is all so hard, I feel so scared for my mother, 'cause I know that she is scared and can't deal with any of this, but I don't know what we can do. She just wants to sweep this stuff under the rug, and move on...but the awful truth is she can't.

I just want to block all this mess out.

If anyone has any advice on how we can move forward with this, I would be so grateful.