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Old 07-24-2010, 04:03 AM   #2
mandy37 mandy37 is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: S.A.
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Re: I'm not that big of a whimp ;-)

Hi there

Why do you mention you not a big whimp. Did someone tell you you are? I think we all one at some point of time and I don't think you have to defend yourself at all

Acceptance is everyones own choice and no-one can force you to accept their point of view

All your responses to us here didn't give any indication for you having to explain yourself.

I also went through the refusal part of acceptance and I don't have to justify myself to anyone. I had a scoother in my garage for a year without using it because I felt I will push myself untill my body and mind told me that I have to use it.

You are your own judge how detremental it could be to your "survival" but it's your choice and nobody has any right to tell you how to feel, think and react.

I also believed I will wake up and I'll be "normal" again but when I take that first step getting out of bed and my body works in slow motion I grind my teeth, get up and carry on as usual

Sometimes when I'm alone I sit and shout as loud as possible why me and try to find an explanation why God done this to me and I'm still to find an answer. After my lungs is cleared of all air and my vocal cords shout for a glass of coke I feel better.

I cannot count the times before I go to sleep that I ask God, beg God with tears in my eyes to please cure me and I will dedicate my life to spreading his word (I'm not a full on christian and I don't go to church) but I know I cannot live up to that promise as it's not who I am.

I don't believe that I will be cured but that is a part I've accepted a long time ago and anyway who the hell cares.

I didn't go through depression but anger and I cannot imagine how you feel. Vent your fustration, anger, hate etc all you want and there is always someone that reads this and "listen" to you

In my dreams I'm as normal as everyone else and I do the stranges things in my dreams and this is when I have a smile on face because I think this will at least last till I wake up.

I believe that a positive attitude gives your body a message that all is fine and you feel the strength building up and that makes the depression go to hell.

Keep up you positive attitude and be a 2year old spoilt brat all you want and throw those temper tantrums till you feel better.

Till we hear from you again and u must have a great wkend.

Mandy