Thanks for that Writeleft.
I suppose what scares me is the thought of needing them everyday for the rest of my life.. I still want to believe this is something I can fix
A female family member is bi polar, she was at her worst when taking anti depressants and whilst she eventually stopped taking them and has to an extent got her life back, she simply has learn't to live with her illness.
I might be being stubborn, but I hate this like its a thing...and I'm angry that my life is being ruled by it, so in a way i would also resent that it had forced me to have to take pills...I am having probably reached my lowest point ever in the last week planning to go and see my doctor this week and discuss the option, so I am not ruling it out...total desperation has forced me to consider it