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Old 10-20-2010, 04:11 PM   #4
dan49 dan49 is offline
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Re: I need some advise please...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janna1 View Post
Hello im 23 yrs old and im realising that i have an anger problem, but im not sure. I took a quiz online to see if i needed help or not and my results were ¨you need help soon!!¨... I really didnt think i had any kind of anger problem but i been noticing that lately i have been getting mad with my partner for any little thing. We have been together for 8 yrs off and on. we brokeup 2 yrs ago cause all we did was argued. Now we are trying to work things out but im always getting angry at him. Theres been a few times that i have gotten so angry that im at a braking point, i cant control myself and all i want to do is realese my anger by hitting him, since we had gotten back together i havent touched him until yesterday, I slapt him! but everytime we have argued i feel like im trying so hard to not let my hand loose. i dont know how it happen yesterday casue is something i cant explain, it just happen and later i regret it!

Most of the times when i get angry i like to throw things, i dont know why that is, but what ever is next to me is going directly to the person im mad.. but is weird because is just with my partner that i get angry and get to this point. this is so weird, im a very calm girl, never had a fight in school, defetnely not a trouble maker, im a very friendly and nice person but when im anger with my partner i turn into someone else, i cant even sleep cause im so angry and i keep repeting in my head what ever it is that made me mad or something he said while arguing, which makes me even more mad, but i cant control not thinkin about it and letting it get to me.
PLEASE SOMEONE ADVISED ME ON WHAT TO DO...
Please don't take anything wrong that I say here. First I had and still do to a point have an anger problem I have to remind my self every day about it to control the angry sometimes. I have went through many hrs of counseling for several years. I have taken anger mangement classes also. It cost me a marriage and many other things a long the way. That is why I decided to change for myself and family. I am not a perfessional just an average that had a serious anger problem. I have changed and I trust that you can to.

First off you have to recognize that you can control it no one else can. You own your anger unless you have a true mental disorder and even then you own that to. The only one or thing you do control is You. No one can do it for you. Yes anger is part of being human, but being angry for the most part is not needed, wanted or should be excepted and hardly even fixes things.

You say you throw things. well you made a concious effort to do that. Did it solve anything? Probably not and it only made the matter worse. Maybe it would have been better to take 30 minutes and clean house to relieve your angry, go jog, whatever it takes. Once again you own that action.

You need to find out what is the true source of your anger and a counselor can help you in that respect. Maybe it would only take minor concessions on each others part to solve the problem instead of arguing about it.

Take it one who has lost a lot due to anger and came out of it a better person when I decided to change. Take my advise with a grain of salt or do something for yourself. These types of actions we alwways have to look at ourselves and sometimes it is not pretty, but youcannot solve what first don't admit and go from there.

Good luck .