Re: Wife selfish in bed
I believe Soodle's problems are his wife never initiates; and Soodle takes his time doing various things to pleasure his wife, but when it's "his turn," she just takes the quickest/easiest route to return the pleasure. I don't think -- maybe I'm wrong -- that the problem is such that he pleasures her and then she doesn't return the favor.
Soodle, is it possible your wife isn't into such long sessions? What happens if you just pleasure her once and then allow her to return the favor instead of bringing her to orgasm so many times in one session? My guess is she's exhausted after so many orgasms in such a short amount of time and probably just wants to pass out. And she probably doesn't initiate because after taking care of her husband, her kids, her house, a job outside the home if she has one, if sex means an hour or more of hand/blow jobs in addition to intercourse, well, that's often seen as another chore by some ladies. I'm not saying it's justified or not. Just that sometimes a quickie would really be better.
Are your lovemaking sessions usually an hour or more? Do they always include all the extras (hands, oral, multiple orgasms, something "out of the ordinary," intercourse, etc.)? If so, you might want to simplify it a little and see how it goes.
I'm saying this as a married woman of 12 years. If sex with my husband at this point in our lives always had to be an "event" involving half a dozen orgasms between the two of us and all the stuff you described in your original post, I probably wouldn't initiate very much either. Not saying those kinds of sessions wouldn't be fun every once in a while, but if that's your regular routine at y'all's ages, I bet she's seeing sex as a chore.