Re: father diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer
Hi...you have had it tough..the crying with you...sounds like you are in depression and rightfully so. I bet that your father has known he has not been well for sometime and I don't know your DAD..but sometimes people feel like pushing people away will make it easier on them than putting them thru what they are about to go thru. Like his cancer...he might have known he was ill and didn't want to put the strain on you after everything else you are going thru. Now is not the time to just let things be as they are. I know that it is hard for you to go over there and that you are suffering yourself from heavy depression. I would talk to him..tell you that you love him...tell him that its ok if he doesn't want to burden you with his problems and that you don't mind because he is your DAD...and you are going to be there for him no matter what. I'm sorry to say, but it doesn't sound like he has much longer to live...with throwing up blood. You said it hurts you that he doesn't want to tell you he is sick...he is trying to PROTECT you..don't be hurt...Go along with him...let him have his belief that he is fooling you....go give him a big hug as soon as you can and tell him that you have noticed that he isn't feeling well and you want him to know that you love him no matter what has been transpiring between the two of you lately. Honestly, from the sounds of it...I wouldn't be surprised if he passes within a week or 2. I'm so sad for your sorrow and all the pain you have been throu this year. And at stage 4...please don't be angry with your Dads choice.its highly unlikely they would have been able to cure him and he is right...he probably would have been worse off...it would have prolonged his suffering...and yours.
I'm so sorry...He cries and asks for help...he doesn't know what he wants...he just wants to feel safe and loved so that he can let go. If you or someone can just sit with him..hold his hand...love him....you will be helping him....God its sad....my thoughts are with you.