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Old 01-05-2011, 02:00 PM   #5
JMan73 JMan73 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Surfside Beach, TX
Posts: 11
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Re: Thought Broadcasting

I keep telling myself that I'm hallucinating all these mental voices......some of them are vocalized out loud......people commenting on my thoughts......like nobody has anything else to think about themselves. The world has become a very scary and very unfriendly place......The psychiatrist tells me that my mind is making this stuff up......but it is very hard to believe. He says he won't perscribe anything to help me with my high anxiety and fear of social activities and interaction, until he gets ahold of the 'psychosis' .......I really need a quick anti-anxiety aid, for when I'm having a bad episode......(like right now)............I'm tired of the telephone, I'm sure they just want to break me. To grind me down into nothing. I'm starting to be afraid of people that I trust and love......it's like I don't want to think anything that would hurt them or be against them, but occasionally It seems like I don't even have control of my thoughts.
I try to keep telling myself it's hallucinations, but mostly it is starting to seem to real to deny...........I'm not Jerry Garcia..........I'm not Jesus or the saviour..............I need them to leave me alone, but they won't. I just keep telling myself it's not really what's going on......that my mind is malfuntioning......but it's hard to deny what I perceive.

I hope you all do better at this than I do.