Re: Feeling alone in this relationship
appreciate your response!!!
i am in counselling but have not been going long. they suggested to get a place of my own so we don't see eachother everyday i have also talked to my boyfriend about everything thats going on and he seems to think that when we don't see eachother everyday that he will make time for me. but why not now? why put me through this lonelyness and pain feeling till i can move? am i not worth time now? i have asked him how he feels about me and he says he loves me but hardly tells me i always say it first then he says it back. i have also asked about how he feels about the relationship and he says he wants the relationship. doesnt treat me like he does.
crying as i typed that i feel so sad and lonely i have broke down in tears before and still not much change. he only comes over to hug me when he i am sat on chair on the computer and he comes over and puts music on and sits on my knee and hugs me while hes selecting the songs he wants on apart from that not really much.
i have also been getting out alot lately so we have time apart and he doesnt seem to miss me, still not much affection, he just says ''hello'' in a sweet way when i come in which i do appreciate. my pet may not live and had to rush him to the vets this morning so as you can imagine i am worried and feeling upset aswell as seen upsetting things in the vets today like people coming out crying because they had to put them pets to sleep and thinking what if i have to do that with my pet anyway still no support or words of comfort from him. its so annoying when on fb my friends are saying they had a lovely romantic holiday or there getting wed or they going out for a special dinner or there boyfriends/girlfriends bought them flowers or something and my boyfriend doesnt buy me anything but thats nothing major but still i wish my boyfriend put abit more into the relationship than his stupid xbox.
i feel that when i move into a new property nothing will change. do i risk it and see what happens or just accept that nothings going to change? apart from when hes concerntrating on his stupid xbox he is nice to me but when his friends are here its like i dont even exist no one talks to me at all maybe to ask me if i want a cup of tea because ones making everyone one as they all take it in turns to make the brews. i resent his ignorant friends now that i dont try speak to them anymore which has resulted in them not liking me (i dont think they like me anyway) but they was damn right ignorant first.
i have been trying so hard to concerntrate on ME and go to my counselling, look for my own place to live etc but this is still upsetting for me. i try see my friends but they live quite far away and i need money to go see them but with christmas and vet bills i have been super skint.
the thing i am most scared of well theres 2 things, me moving out and nothing changing and i am terrified of falling out of love with him and not want HIM anymore. i feel it slowly and i mean very slowly heading that way but i am still suffering inbetween.