Thread: help me please
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Old 01-12-2011, 10:52 AM   #5
suzyshop1 suzyshop1 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2002
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Re: help me please

Thankyou for the replies,but i feel i may need to clarify a few points.First, as for the money situation,this past xmas he received gift cards in the amount of 381.00 dollars.He went online to one of those websites where you can exchange gifts cards for money.They emailed to say the check is on the way.He wants me to lend him my car,to drive to the court to get divorce papers filed,then to give him money to get a copy of his birth certificate.My son is 31 his marriage was not healthy,he was doing different kinds of drugs and drinking to try an cope with the meds not working.He sometimes became violent with his wife and family members.Currently,if not for me he would be homeless.He at one time was on at least 3 medications,which seemed,to not be working well enough,for him to hold down a job.When asked by me about therapy,he said he went a couple a times to no avail.So now he's on no therapy or medications.He's no longer has health insurance,due to he was on his wifes policy,which she took him off of.When he was on the meds he acted like a zombie.He checked himself into a mental facility a couple a times,because he was afraid that he would try and kill himself.He owns a truck which he is planning to sell to get the remainder of the money he needs to leave the U.S.He told me that if he doesn't go,he will just kill himself.This woman in Indonesia,he says knows about his depression problem,but no one can truly know what it's like too live with a depressive person,till you live with them.Im afraid he will get over there findout it's not everything he thought it would be,then not be able to return home.I am not well off enough to be able to go get him to bring him home.My greatest fear is that he gets over there,and i never hear from him again.The reason i came on here was to seek advice from other people,to see if im acting like a MOM,or that maybe im being over protective.Ive done research on the city he wants to go to.Different websites say its full of traffic,pollution,medical facilities are sub standard,and it's in the part of the country where there were bombings of major hotels,you cant go out alone at night,the place is full of pickpockets,there are diseases that he would need to be vaccinated against.You can't drink the water.There are floods,tsunamis,and volcanic eruptions.The police are a joke.Im afraid that he will disappear and never be heard from again.He doesnt want me to tell anyone in the family what he's planning.Im afraid if i don't help him and he does manage to go,that he will hold a grudge and i will never hear from him again.Im 54 yrs old,in not such good health,i was hoping to have some grankids before i die.If he's over the other side of the world,i'll never see them,or have a minutes peace that they will be safe.There are also some religious connotations that i won't get into since this is not a religious board.I have anxiety problems myself,and am trying to not go over the edge.A few yrs i came close to a nervous breakdown when my husband ran off with my kid sister,got her pregnant and divorced me and married her.I have a 12 yr old son who lies and steals,who is going to be tested in March for Adhd so i have my hands full,i don't need anymore problems.Once again thanks for listening.It's nice too be on the receiving end of getting advice instead of giving it.