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Old 01-28-2011, 08:36 PM   #1
hedgehopper hedgehopper is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 5
hedgehopper HB User
Am I being used/abused by a loved friend?

Hello all. I'm new here and looks like an informative board. Not sure if this is the right area to ask but I'll try. I REALLY need help as this is mentally killing me and causing depression almost everyday.

I have a friend who I dated a couple years back and now we are friends I guess. One day she seems happy the next she seems mad but MOSTLY just with me. She has always blamed me for things but never others even when it has NOTHING to do with me! When we dated she wasn't very sexual with me but was with other boyfriends before and after. Also when I would not be able to go out for the night or do something she would get really really mad at me but she doesn't seem to be that agreesive with other friends or boyfriends do it. I have helped her out with support and money so many times and she says she appreciates it and me so much.

Here's some scary things though and realize I don't really help her out with any money really anymore so I don't think it's such a factor.

1.She seems to HATE when something good happens to me and not her and seems to not believe my success on things even money success even though she's benefited greatly!

2.When she works bartending and I'm leaving she always asks when I'm coming in next and says she appreciates me and me coming down to support. But when she's not working or away she never ever calls or texts,etc and always has an excuse of why.

3.When we dated and were closer I always helped her out big time with money and support but she would never admit that to our other friends and never mentioned I would help her out bigtime. She would say the opposite behind my back I found out. Why?

4.When we broke up our friendship one time when I called her out on some of this, she said her she will never be able to hang with her friends again because they know about how I helped her with money and she's embarrased,etc but I found out she was hanging out with some of them the next day or so. Is that because she just manipulated them about the situation?

5.She also has a daughter she has her parents take care of and I helped out to with support and money but she can only muster a "appreciate it" when I am about to walk away and give it. SHE NEVER goes to her other friends for money or support,just me even though some have the means to help.

6.She tells other outsiders who inquire about me that I'm "sketchy". Is it to keep other people away from me?

7.We do hang out alone and she will hang out with me but I ALWAYS have to ask her to hang out. I'm confused why she's even saying yes then??

8.This one confuses me the most. When we have a fight she will be mad at me forever but when people do bad things to her she stays mad for a day or two. Then she says she is mad at me longer because....."I love you more than them. Our relationship is different". So they get to have fun and relax with you and I get to do all the dirty work and get hell? Doesn't seem fair?

NOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW you're going to say, hey loser you are being used and that's all she wants from you. I know. My question is does she really hate me or does she have a peronality disorder with me or is just keeping me in the wings for when she needs me down the line to fall back on.

Last edited by hedgehopper; 01-28-2011 at 08:59 PM.