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Old 02-06-2011, 10:51 AM   #3
NP74 NP74 is offline
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 203
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Re: Bad shoulder pain

Mark, I am sorry about the shoulder pain you are experiencing as well, I am actually going to call a Dr this week to figure out what I can take, that will not interfere with my antidepressants and mood stabilizers.

It really sucks, I have been really close to throwing in the towel lately, I really struggle with seeing a future, and feel that my husband would be better off without me. He is young enough to find a new wife with whom he could have a "real" life with kids etc, and not this excuse for a life where he has to help me with everything!

I am slowly working my way up, but I think I am dissociating (if that is a word) myself from life, and the only times I react to stuff is actually when I see myself in a mirror or a store window. It is really odd, but I just can't stand to see myself, I hate what I look like, and if I happen to be walking, it immediately causes some kind of an emotional breakdown, I nearly had one in a store the other night, but I managed to make it to the car before I started crying. What I see is a short little fat and ugly girl, who walks like a duck!!!I try not to look at myself but it is hard not to get into those situations as most stores have windows in their doors.

Last night I stayed home from a birthday party because I was afraid to go to the restaurant in case they had a window in the door, and because I did not know all the people there. I am turning into a little bit of a recluse, I just want to be alone, and am just fine with it.

Arrrrghhh I wrote a novel again!

P