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Old 02-08-2011, 01:01 PM   #1
Ashh Ashh is offline
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 12
Ashh HB User
Having a breakdown ): please help!!!

so today i had some sort of setback. i was doing just fine havent talked to my ex in almost 2 months not like over him just yet. but i started talking to a guy nothing serious doing things i liked.
well today on my lunch break i saw a conversation of my ex i was watching him talk to someone. i saw him say things like Se* is always on his  mind, telling a girl she is gorgeous etc. he just seemed so happy
i was shocked to see this i havent hurd from him he hasnt tried to contact me or anything. anyway i just broke down literally i couldnt even breathe. i thought i was being so strong until today and im so dissapointed that
im still affected  by this. it really hit me hard i dont know what to think now i had hope like maybe i could get over him. but after breaking down i lost all hope. im feeling depressed sad betrayed everything all over again.
i just want to hate him so badly i  miss him so much i hate heartbreak. i dont know what to do every guy i talk to i loose interest its just nothing there. i really wish this didnt happen today monday would of been our anniversary of another year.
i just feel like im slowly falling apart my whole life while his life couldnt be better. i simply dont know what to do im confused and feel sick i just want to be truly happy and i feel like it will never happen. why did god allow me to see that
what was the point so i could break down?? was it a test if it was i failed horribley. ): im just so torn i thought not talking to him for almost 2 months finally cutting off contact was so brave of me. but anytime i take one step forward i take 2 steps back.
i wish i hadnt seen that but i did and now im a wreck can somebody please help me. im tired of feeling like this im tired of this heartache its ruinning me ):

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Ashh
cryingforever (02-08-2011), RANDOL (02-08-2011)