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Old 02-22-2011, 01:23 AM   #7
awlright awlright is offline
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Location: Whitehall, PA U.S.
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Wink Re: really shy around strangers

Hi Laidbacklar, I used to be very much like you with the exception that my skin is darker and so wasn't always possible to tell how I was feeling. But my voice gave me away. Even at my advance age I still have a bit of it now and then. It took a bit of time to realize that what I was expressing was the fear that something was going to go terribly wrong when I met that new girl. Indeed, I was expressing anxiety, an irrational fear. The answer was very simple and very hard, but I worked at it and my shyness began to drop slowly but surely. When I felt the shyness coming on I told myself it is nothing but anxiety and you are this anxiety and it is you, so don't fear it anymore then you fear yourself, walk into it, bring up a conversation, tell a joke, confess that you are terrified of meeting new girls and laugh along with the girl who your talking to. If she's worth your effort, she'll reach out for you and help. You'll have a friend. Sounds easy right? Well it's not. You have to have real backbone to try it and live by it. Some people improve very quickly others take a little longer, but if they stick to it they will get past shyness. Never try to control it. Let it happen and go with it as I mentioned above. Part of the problem is trying to control it; that only makes matters worse and the failure makes you feel worse.

All the best