Re: not sure where to go from here
Reading your unfortunate story I would say that this is an opportunity for you to change. This is not easy but this is where your therapist will come in. There are certain tests I hear that are very helpful and this includes Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Medicine wont help you at this stage but can stop you from having physical affects like anxiety. However you can now learn to rebuild your life around, start something you have always wanted to do.
Let me know if this was helpful. Thanks