Asperger's needs to be diagnosed properly
Lately I realized many people often self-diagnose or diagnose for a person with Asperger's when there seems to be a relationship problem with the person. Such answer seems to calm people down and gives "closure".
The more I think about it, the more I realized that it is better not to diagnose people in private. That is, only a psychiatrist or specialist can diagnose this.
To guess for an elder to have this is only a guess.
I like to live in a real world. Even though I do have trouble with my father-in-law who is in his own world, I still cannot say he has Asperger's for sure.
His late wife said he was born that way (self-centered) and that he is the power figure of the family. He never tries to understand my husband's career and yet he "forced" family members to "work with him" after he retired as an emeritus professor.
Certainly I try to understand him and reason with his past to understand why he is like this. It is too late to deal with him, but I keep asking why myself.
There are lots of reasons for him to behave like this: He has a great and successful career and he was born into a traditional family where men are important figures in the family. He lived through war in his home country and his Dad died young. Lots of hardships in his youth. He is self-centered because he has no need to socialize unnecessarily. It is his interest. He has no other hobbies...
All these things look like Asperger's but I cannot diagnose him with it because I am not a doctor.
I think sometimes we don't have to label the person with Asperger's. It is more important to forgive him for such selfishness. After all, he was not a bad husband and he is not really a bad father considering some bad parents we heard about in the society.
Forgiveness helps us to move on. We don't have to bother with Asperger's and "educate" the family with Asperger's and etc. Just leave it alone and forgive him.
Last edited by ninamarc; 03-27-2011 at 11:17 AM.