What to do about my boyfriend's family... particularly his mother!
This is my first post. I wanted to see what others thought about the issue that I'm having with my boyfriend's family. We are both 28 and have been together for 10.5yrs now. From the VERY beginning of our relationship his mother has been very rude, condescending and downright disrespectful towards me. She's always got a judgemental comment to make, she always tries to force her opinion and views about things onto us and no matter what she is always negative about every single thing she talks about. Unless of course she is talking to people she feels she has to impress (colleagues, friends, her in-laws etc etc)
The last straw for me was a couple of mths ago at their dinner table when she asked me about why my father and his wife fought so often, when I responded "I don't know, I don't know the details of their relationship" she looked me in the eye and told me that my father was a "loser". I was so insulted, I left the table, stormed out of the house and my boyfriend (who still lives at home) and I had a HUGE argument about the way his family treats me. But she also treats him with disrespect also. In fact, she talks to her husband, her daughter, her siblings and her whole family like they are scum.
I voiced my opinions (partially through my boyfriend) a couple of times in the past but nothing has changed. I am now at a point where I haven't been to his house in about 3mths because I refuse to acknowledge her until she apologizes for the comment that she made about my father.
Last night things blew out of control again because my boyfriends sister (after sitting around being nosy with his mother) called him while he was at my house and was aggressively trying to see what he was doing and give him orders. I lost my temper completely because I'm at a point where I just can't deal with his family anymore.
Whenever we have approached the mother about the issues she makes excuses by saying that she was raised this way, that's how they speak, she is unhappy with her marriage etc etc.
I don't know what else to do at this point. I feel like I'm in a losing battle. I want to marry this man but I NEVER want my own children to see this and think that it is acceptable for family members to treat each other this way. What should I do? I am feeling like I'm in a corner alone, and I don't think things will ever get better because his mother and sister aren't willing to accept in the least that they have done wrong?
Last edited by Administrator; 03-28-2011 at 08:32 PM.