I was so sorry to hear about your situation.
Re the kidney mass. First of all it has to be DEFINITELY diagnosed as cancerous (it may not be). Have you spoken to a Urologist about this? Since you posted, have there been any further decisions made regarding the mass? Sometimes it's possible to biopsy a kidney mass, but not always, depending on where it's located. Anyway, if you do need to have your kidney removed, it's not the end of the world. Many people can live quite well with one kidney. But of course a lot depends on your general health and the other med problems you mention you have. Best to take it one step at a time.
Re your psychological probs. Ask your primary doc to refer you to a good psychologist. I know you don't particularly like psych meds, but sometimes they become necessary and often can be used short term. Do you have any other family who might be able to give you some support?
Wishing you the best, and keep us posted.