Re: sexual/control/mental issues ? not sure - please help
Just wanted to reiterate my suggestion about talking to someone at your local DV facility. As you are currently working on getting out (the wisest course of action with men like your husband)--the DV workers have experience helping with housing, court, finances, etc & could possibly provide some good advice at little or no cost to you.
If you do seek counseling, again, a wise decision, just be certain your counselor really understands abuse, especially emotional, verbal & sexual. Not all of them do. Be VERY wary of any therapist who would be willing to treat you as a couple--that is absolutely not the right protocol & can be very dangerous.
I really hope you get some outside support with this. As Teri said, your kids are affected by this.
And, I must warn you, these types of abusive men are at their worst when you try to escape them. Forewarned is forearmed. Again, whether it is the National DV Hotline, or your local DV facility, you can get some expert guidance on this to keep you and your kids safe.
Be well, stay strong. Be prepared for a lot of head games. You're entering the worst phase of the ordeal. There is freedom on the other side. It's worth it. You're worth it. Your beautiful children are worth it.