Marriage + FM= Disaster
I love my hubby even though he isn't the most supportive & understanding person. He is a great guy. We have 4 kids together, & a great home.
I've had probs since 99, way before I met him (this is my 2nd marriage).
The last couple years have been the worst. I had CFS since 99 but Fibro kicked in the end of 09 & just got worst until I was diagnosed last year.
I'm doing everything I can. We worked hard to build our farm but it became to much so narrowed it down allot. It's hatching season again so my hubby pushed me to start hatching again. I'm doing my best.
We started remodeling the house a month ago so we can refinance. I couldn't of done all the painting, cleaning, ect if it wasn't for my best friend being here every day to help (yes, a whole month!). She also has 4 kids but managed to help me with all the kids also. I took Tramadol pretty much daily which helped me get off the couch & move. But moved very slowely & at my pace so took way longer than it should of.
We had the appraisal Tuesday which was such a relief. the last 2 days I've refrained from taking pain meds, still managed to take care of the kids, farm, cleaning, ect. Not easy... I'm sooo sore, every part of my body is sore. Sooo exhausted. I just want to sleep.
Then my hubby calls from work earlier & makes a point that I need to start "doing stuff". He's obviously neglected... He complains about this allot.
He never says anything nice. He doesn't appreciate everything I do. I use every ounce of energy I have & it's still not good enough. Maybe if he helped me more? Then I have gained weight the last couple years & can't get it off (low thyroid). So, I said good bye & hung up on him. I'm so irritated. I'd rather be alone. Atleast then I don't have to worry about disappointing him. I listen to him gripe about how tired or sore he is, yet I rarely ever complain. Just keep stuff to myself. I will mention what's going on, but he doesn't listen.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so miserable. So tired of being tired & sore all the time. If you are are going to be married, shouldn't your spouse care what you are going through? He never does. Everything I do is never enough. The house is clean, kids get excellent grade because I help them, I try to bring in some extra $, dinner gets cooked. I guess maybe it's hard for me to give him the attention he needs when all I do is listen to him complain & never say anything nice, not even a thank you.
I needed to vent. Just so fed up.
Fatigue & Derealization (PTSD?) 1999
Back injury~ 2005
Severe Degenerative Disk, Arthritis, Mild Scoliosis.
Fibromyalgia diagnosed 2009