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Old 05-13-2011, 06:49 PM   #2
jillian4 jillian4 is offline
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Re: Moving Past Your College Regrets

Hi Austin,

Many people have life-long friends, and plenty of us don't, but it really has nothing to do with college or whether one stays home or joins a sorority. It takes two to become close friends. Evidently no one befriended you, either.

I think you have romanticized a 'shoulda-woulda-coulda' scenario, that was really just choice. I know people that met off campus and got married after college. There are all sorts of possibilities. It seems like what you may dwell on to avoid getting involved. I think you might be kind of shy or insecure, or both. Maybe you have some negative thinking to overcome.

You don't have to wait for others to initiate. Do something out of character for you. Smile, say hi, chat at restaurants, etc. Be friendly. Eventually someone will be friendly back.

I say let go of that and get on with making friends, now, based on your current interests. If you are shy, make a decision to step out and try something new. Take a dance class. If you have two left feet, laugh it off and just have fun. Try horse back riding. Get a puppy (a people magnet), and take puppy training classes and later go to the dog park. If you don't want a pet, take an abstract art class or read your books at a library or at a park or someplace where you can get coffee or tea. Face the flow of people and look up often and smile, and say hi. If someone is alone and chats with you, ask if she/he would like to talk more. maybe it will be no the first time but later when they see you there a couple more times they will repsond.

Take a body language class to see how your body language reads to others. Be yourself, but make sourself aware of others, and give them some attention in a small way. People like to be noticed and like it if we don't think we (meaning they) have to be perfect.

I think it was completely fine to concentrate on education and to do your job, but you did that and now you would really be short-changing yourself if you choose to not get involved in life beyond school and work. It's really your choice.

Last edited by jillian4; 05-13-2011 at 07:01 PM.

 
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