| | still in denial and slowly deteriorating. please help!
I haven't slept in about six days. I was Usuing coke daily for about a year. I spent about 450-550 a week in coke. I ran out of money and was forced to stop. I couldn't handle the withdrawals so I started taking adderall. I have been on a nonstop adderall binge for the past 5 months. I started taking 40mg a day and I am now having to take 150 mg to feel anything. I can't focus I can't sleep. My gp noted that I had an abnormally high pulse- resting was 120. I am starting tonactually feel myself deteriorate. I'm very anxious and irritable. I can't handle anything. Because I replaced my antidepressant and serequel for coke, I do not have anything stabilizing my mood swings. I am extremely paranoid and I have been hearing things for the past couple of months. I do not like seeking professional help because I don't like acknowledging my past. I know that my use is a little extreme but any time I try to reason with myself I constantly fall back into denial. I need advice. What do I do in this situation. I refuse to go back to inpatient (previously admitted because of opiate addiction) if you understand or have any positive feedback for me please respond.