Originally Posted by s711118f
I do not like seeking professional help because I don't like acknowledging my past. I know that my use is a little extreme but any time I try to reason with myself I constantly fall back into denial. I need advice. What do I do in this situation. I refuse to go back to inpatient (previously admitted because of opiate addiction) if you understand or have any positive feedback for me please respond.
In keeping the focus on myself,as I relate to your situation,it was both out of sheer necessity and responsibility that I began seeking professional help.
The necessity of wanting to break away from insanity's "cycle of addiction" while deep down knowing that I had an innate responsibility to want better for myself...so the journey began.
I realized that I needed the assistance of other individuals to help me see the things I couldn't and point me in the direction where light is found.
For some reason,I found it easier to turn off that "do not like" switch in my head and just attend.
When I used, it was to run away from psychological pain and when I did,I was equipped with the best metaphoric track shoes that my mind could conjure up.
While running from my past,I noticed I was distancing myself from the very person that needed saving;me.
In many ways,my life is more difficult and complicated than it was before I stopped completely using, some 11 years ago...
but no longer having to deal with the "son of the grim reaper" is priceless.
I truly hope you find your way...