Can't figure out therapist
I had two hospitalizations last year following recovering very traumatic memories on my own (not in therapy) that retraumatized me. I was this a therapist at my mental health clinic for 8 months who got me out of crisis but offered no useful help really on how to recover and heal from what I remembered that involved witnessing violence. I remembered other very disturbing things that I never shared with my therapist. Something told me not to, and things ended badly with her because she got mad at me for something I suggested to her and abruptly terminated with me in a very unprofssional manner. I was placed with a new therapist who is a nice man but I feel is lazy. I am also diagnosed bipolar which he knows more about. He told me upfront he knows little about PTSD. He is constantly telling me I have to "move on" and I think this is because he is not qualified to help me with the memories that made me so sick last year. He has told me I will not be talking to him about certain things, and I haven't. yesterday I told him that I needed to discuss some of the troubling things I have remembered last year and he told me I processed that with my old therapist. I told him I processed nothing, and that from what I know from past therapy with an MD who specialized in ptsd is that the way to recover is to process what has been recalled, make sense of it, talk about it, in ORDER to be ABLE to move on. He told me I can talk to him about my memories next week when there is more time. I have had a day to think about this. I do not want to discuss my traumatic memories with him. I do not think he will help me, or perhaps even believe me. I am stuck at a non profit clinic that is not top of the line help. In the past I have had the insurance to get better therapy from specialists. Am I expecting too much? He tells me I am doing well and to volunteer to spend time doing other things than thinking about negative things. ***? I am not doing well. I will not do well until I can be witnessed regarding the things I need to talk about. I have only been with him for 3 months. Do you think I should ask for another therapist who knows about PTSD. My last therapist is the clinic's PTSD "expert". She has a masters degree and she gave bad advice and I told my psych nurse recently that the clinic may one day have to do risk management because of her. I told my nurse that because of the past ptsd therapy I had with an expert for 9 years I believe this is why I was relatively unharmed by this ptsd therapist's behavior and technique. I told her that I felt she would in the future hurt other people who may not realize it until years later. The nurse listened to me. The therapist I have now has a masters degree but after appts with him I usually feel frustrated and upset that I cannot afford a better place to get help. Do you have any suggestions? My psych nurse is a wonderful person. I told her that I felt I am not getting the right help for my ptsd and she told me to be honest with my present therapist and that it would be a growing process for him. I get the impression from most of the therapists there that nobody really wants to "grow." They see people, write their chart note, and go home for the day. I asked to read my chart to see what has been written about me by the previous therapist. My nurse told me its not a good idea to do that right now, as she's leaving for a few months. I'm not really confused about all this. How can I politely tell my therapist that I need help for ptsd and I don't think he can provide it?