| | scared to death of everything hemorrhoidectomy
I want to start off by saying thank you for all those who have posted their stories. Some are scaring the hell out of me and some inspire hope. I want to thank Tacoma Guy and painindc for their wonderful and informative posts. I have been reading their threads a few times a day hoping my issues turn out the same or similar.
My issues started back in about 2004 or 2005 when I was an aerospace ground equipment tech in the USAF. I used to push and pull and lift a lot of weight as part of my job. Including stuff I should have asked for help on most likely. My diet also wasn't the greatest and would be constipated and push/strain to pass a BM. One day after going to the bathroom, I stood up to wipe and saw the toilet was nothing but dark red. I had done something bad. I was then told I had hemorrhoids and to make changes. I didn't make the changes I should have and it progressed to the point of stage 3. I was told of my stage 3 last year and was advised I could get surgery through the Veteran Affairs hospital in Sacramento. Note: I left the USAF in 2008. I now have a job where I travel and the joy of stage 3 hemorrhoids was highly inconvenient to me so I opted to go for tthe surgery. I also almost always noticed blood in my stool the past couple months and was ready for that to end as well. So June 7th, 2010 I went under to get my surgery.
Now I am healing but I am scared I did something wrong or may not be doing things the way I should. I am scared of a few things. I wore adult diapers for any discharge and was worried that I may have a bowel movement. I think that gave me a diaper rash that is causing pain and discomfort as it is away from my anus that is also painful and sensitive. I now wear boxer briefs and pads to help keep things dry. Also, I am scared of the fact that my BMs aren't on a normal schedule. I used to go at the same time everyday almost. Now it's just whenever and the amount scares me. Every time I feel like I need to go, I go to the toilet but nothing comes out. This may be because for a few ddays its been 1 cup of fiber one in the AM and a huge salad letter in the day. I'm worried I'm not eating enough. The stool is still soft despite meds, and I keep well hydrated. I did also push the other day because the pain was so intense during a BM I wanted it to end. I think I pulled something between my scrotum and anus now. It hurts when I use the sitz bath like a pulled muscle. I'm scared that if I don't pass enough that I will end up with stenosis. There has been a lot of gas pressure that drives me crazy in pain at times and causes my anus to go into spasms. It feels great when it is relieved but I also hope that if it doesn't get relieved that it fights off rectal stenosis by keeping it expanded some. My older sister has bad anal fissures at times and gave me a cream called Dr wheatgrass. From what I have read it helps a lot of people deal with wounds and it can help with the healing process of my anal area. I haven't heard of negative side effects on the net yet even though I looked. Also, this past Friday I had to go to the ER because the percoset wasn't helping my pain. 325mg acetimenophane and 5mg of oxycodone. I asked the doc not to touch the area but I knew he would have to. What happened next was so terrifying and painful. I have never been raped and could not even come close to imagining what it is like. But I also want to say maybe I do. I screamed and yelled and begged for him to stop. It went on for up to a minute as he examined me. I couldn't do anything about it as the pain rendered me utterly helpless and immobile . The entire ER went literally silent for about 5-10 minutes as I balled at the top of lungs. I couldn't stop crying for anything that's when they upped my meds to hydromorphone. Even now the hydromorphone does help as much with the pain of BMs. If it does, I don't want to imagine not having them.
Phew that was a long winded post and I'm sorry. I guess i needed to get that out to people who have gone through this and hopefully hear some good words of advice. I really do think painindc and Tacoma Guy posts are great and should be read prior to this surgery for prep. I know not everyone is the same, but I think we can all agree a little can go a long way. Thank you for reading this and any replies that may come my way.
EDIT : I forgot to mention I have the most wicked spasms in my anus usually after a BM like I am not done yet. It has kept me up at night twice qlenching and releasing to my heartbeat almost. My body has always signaled to me the end of a BM by releasing the rest of my urine that is left to go. The sequence has always been small to medium amount of urine as the first stage, BM, then rest of the urine as the final stage. It's not doing that anymore.
Last edited by scaredguyinsac; 06-12-2011 at 04:43 PM.
Reason: added more info to post as a edit at bottom of post.