| | My 38 yr old wife passed May 16th...
We have a two and one year old. We had our son the end of Jan 2010 and in May 2010 she was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. They really didn't think she'd make it to Christmas, but by then 85% had gone away and we celebrated! By the end of Jan, it was back in her stomach and by April, she was going quickly. She passed May 16th, kinda unexpected at the hospital at 6:27pm with me holding her hold. We never had hospice as I took care of her and the kids. She was the love of my life, my best friend and friends to many. She had over 350 people at her funeral "celebrating" her life.
Now for me, I have bad days and worse days. I can't stop crying, I don't want to live (but I have our two children so I have too) but I don't like them seeing my cry all the time. They're so young, they don't know what happened. I've been reading books about the afterlife by people like John Edward, James Van Praagh and Sylvia Browne and they actually make me feel better about how she'd be around watching us etc... but I can't shake the pain.
I realize it's only been 38 days, but the pain is unbearable and my desire to live and be happy hasn't changed. I'm going to seek help from the hospice grief groups, but I'd love to know if anyone out there can give me some insight on how they made it through this. I don't like being alone (adult company) and I want to be happy around my kids. I've tried thinking of the happy memories we shared, but it always hits me hard in the end. Is there something else I can try that worked for others?
Any help is greatly appreciated!