Originally Posted by sehulong
I am new to forums, I deal with HIV positive people at work and some times it can be very, depressing.I hope to get support from the forum in terms of how to cope
It is difficult giving emotional support to people on a regular basis, if you do not take some time for yourself to relax and cleanse, even if you are not in the position of giving therapy, you will still be effected with negative environments. So when you retire for the day, do you remember to do something enjoyable for yourself that can help take your mind off the days work? Perhaps focus on your hobbies, or go for a relaxing walk in nature. Music, working out, dancing, or watching an uplifting movie helps me unwind and get my mind off of negative mode. You could try also, balancing your lifestyle, make sure to surround yourself with positive individuals in equal amounts to the time you spend helping people. It helps me to write or talk things out.
It is usually recommended for caregivers to get counselling too - it is natural that you will feel overwhelmed, you may need a listening ear to talk about your work, and the things that have been troubling you.
Try not to view it as a setback on your part, in a professional view, attachment and emotions are not always tolerated, but it is a normal human reaction to feel remorse for or around those who are struggling. Try positive affirmations, and remember what you are doing is of help and benefit to these people. Perhaps you are not encouraged enough or complimented by your efforts. For many people helping someone is rewarding and healing in itself. It can also drag you down if you give more than you receive. If you spend your time nurturing those who need support, you know what support looks like, you need to give to yourself. I would suggest into looking at why you feel the way you do, what has caused it specifically, any circumstance more bothering than another, taking a look at your work routine, getting down to the why, in order to come to the resolution how.
You should learn how to distance yourself... be there for them, but from a distance. Sometimes I use a helpful visualization tool when i am around people who seem to unintentionally or intentionally drain me with their problems. We all encounter these from time to time. The visual i use is surprisingly very helpful. I imagine an orb of coloured light, or white light surrounding me, and imagine that it is there to keep me protected, calm and distanced from this persons problems, it is there to make me happy, balanced and strong. Sometimes i even imagine it surrounding the person i am dealing with, and imagine it calming them down. It may seem odd, but it helps my brain logically realize that i will not have them bring me down.
Visual exercises help me better than just thinking "oh yeah i'm not supposed to let this bother me." I also meditate so i can clear my mind, and erase all negativity, it helps keep me strong, sane and clear headed.
In my experience, and not from a professional standpoint - but from living with and knowing people with HIV, people can react differently. Some live just fine with it. And I know of a few shady characters that have reacted negatively and adopt the attitude of not caring for life, therefore committing dangerous acts. I may not agree with their actions, but i still try to see it from their shoes, and when i cannot do that, i still love them unconditionally. Love is the opposite of any negative feeling, and when love is used it can erase. Understanding, acceptance, love. I change my mindset to believe, things are the way they are, and that is okay.
The majority just need support through the struggle of living with, and want that support. On the other hand, there are those who use it as an opportunity to change and be happy.
For myself, when i was sexually abused by a predator who had HIV and Hep C, I went through the stages of mourning and anxiety pretty fast during that 6 month wait time. I dealt with it amazingly. My risk was extremely high, thus i accepted it before i was tested, (most people lectured me thinking that was a negative move) but surprisingly it was the most amazing time of my life. I decided to live life to the fullest, and was the happiest i've ever been. It is a miracle that i still test negative. Sometimes i think maybe it was my sudden love for life and motivation to beat it that may have created that outcome.
Many people deal with it a lot better than some may think, especially with the support, and I have at least some faith in humankind
. Perhaps you do not hear enough heroic stories of those that are doing good. I have met a few that have recovered from HIV, the disease they say to be incurable... and many who live just fine for many, many years and do not let it bother them.
The power of the human mind is greatly disregarded sometimes.
They are also coming out with the cure!