Hi KK82, just saw this post and thought I'd say hello. OCD, anxiety, and depression are so tough.
You are doing excellent by seeing a doctor, talking out your thoughts, and getting to know your situation. I think that is so important, helping yourself.
I had suicidal thoughts for almost all of my life, for some reason, they haven't been around (those thoughts) for me in quite some time. Despite my issues, I want to live now. I somehow released those thoughts. I like that, especially because I wasn't that way for a long time.
I guess I just wanted to add that those thoughts are normal for people like us. It doesn't mean we will act on them. I agree with your doctors, if you are worried about it, you're not going to act on those thoughts.
Hang in there, you will get better, it takes time. There comes a time when all these issues become more manageable.