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Old 08-10-2011, 06:10 AM   #1
spoooon spoooon is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UK
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Overcoming the loss of the most amazing girl. EVER.

Hi,

Then..... After meeting in Oct 2008 at University we quickly become best friends and then began a relationship around April 2009. We loved each other so much and lived in Thailand for nearly two years after graduating from university. We left our jobs in Thailand to go to India. We were in India for 3 weeks, we visited a place where we both said was the most beautiful place we had ever seen . EVER. Then my life turned upside down.

My life turned upside down in just a few minutes on 25th June when my girlfriend got taken by a river in India. I dived into help but she was trapped under water and i couldn't free her. With my hand on her cheek and my arm around her she went unconscious. After this i was now trying to free her from the rocks only to end up losing her in the river. We found her three days later about a km down the river. I spent everyday searching fro her until a local villager found her. Hours later its hit both internation and national news and its everywhere. We quickly repatriated her and the funeral took place on 12th July.

Now...... its the 10th August and im hurting still. Im not in denial. Im not avoiding her. I am just the saddest i have ever and will ever be in my life. My heart aches. I miss her laugh. I miss her hugs and cuddles. I wake up in the morning hugging my pillow and wonder where she is. I miss the special intimacy we had. I miss how freakin sexy she was. I dream of her all the time in everyday situations as if she is still alive. I dream of hysterical laughter with her or on my own. Then i wake up and i cant laugh. I have immersed myself in the million pictures we have of our travels. I have made videos of us with music . I wear her shirt around my waist everyday with anything im wearing. I listen to our favourite music everyday. I wear a scorpion around my neck as she was a proud scorpio. I wanna talk about her everyday. Im designing a tattoo that i want to symolise her and the influence she had on mylife.

I guess what im asking is if this is normal behaviour? Am i helping myself? I have never experienced loss of a loved one or family so i dont know what im doing and this seems like a place where i wont feel alone in my emotions.

I have lost my travel companion, my best friend and the person i loved the most in this life. I need some help.

Last edited by moderator2; 08-10-2011 at 07:14 AM.