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Old 08-15-2011, 04:30 AM   #1
leenorah leenorah is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: ohio
Posts: 11
leenorah HB User
my anxiety story

First off, i'd like to say i am very happy to have found this site. I am always searching te internet to find stories to relate to and this site has offered me a lot, I hope my story can comfort many of you too. Also, although i have not found the cure yet and have not been freed from my anxiety I have faith and I encourage you guys to as well. Well here it goes, I have always been a very anxious person, but in the beginning of my senior year it went to a whole new extent. I was in the car ont he way home from my friends house and all of a sudden my vision got really weird, it kind of just froze and i felt like i wasn't there and then i started to freak out and had probably one of the worst panic attacks of my life, i did not think i was going to make it home alive. After that i became nervous about getting into a car ion fear that it would happen again, but school had just started so i had no choice. i was nervous about getting to shool but once i got there i was fine, until i went into the classroom and everything just looked really weird and i figured it was just anxiety and it would go away, but it didn't until i left school. i tried very hard to get used to it but i couldnt, so i started skipping school a lot. finally i told my dad what was going on, since he has had anxiety for most of his life he understood and told me i didnt have to go, eventually my attendance beame so bad i had to switch to online school. finally i was content because i was always at home and didnt feel "weird", but then it all got bad again, i was constantly feeling unreal. I had so many panic attacks a day because i would sit there and think and convince myself i was dead. it became very scary. and still to this day the derealization (feeling dead and unreal) has not gone away, but i have some how managed to live with it. I still have random panic attacks atleast 7 times a weeks or more. I am constantly freaking myself out about having aids, or cancer or a tumor, but i am to afraid to leave my house to go to the doctor to get checked out. I have self diagnosed myself with agoraphobia. I have left my house 3 times in the past month. its pretty bad, and i have lost quite a few friendship over it. It is very hard for people to understand if they dont go through it, but honestly screw them, as harsh as it sounds ive realized i know theres something wrong if people want to assume im lying or dont want to try and understand then screw it, its not their life. Sorry if im babbling,i have no attention span and cant concentrate for very long, which is one of the lovely symptoms. As far as symptoms go, they are pretty much the same as everybody else has listed.. feeling unreal, sweating, shaking, feeling like im going to die or something bad is going to happen, pounding heart, feeling like im going to pass out, and the list goes on but you get the idea. anywho, If anyone you actually took the time to read this and can relate to anything i have said or want to talk, please feel free. i love talking to people who understand and i will give as much advice as i can

 
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: leenorah
Rocketsredglare (08-30-2011), sohappyYanxious (12-18-2011), sunshine12 (09-05-2011)
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to leenorah For This Useful Post:
janelle3 (12-05-2011), sohappyYanxious (12-18-2011)