| | Absolutely sick and tired of it
Anybody out there ever get the feeling they are being used, being taken advantage of, being treated with complacency, being treated with disrespect? I feel that I am being treated in these fashions by my partner and I am so fed up of it.
After I ran from my abusive husband with my daughter, my dog and my cat and NOTHING else, I vowed to myself that I would never ever get into a serious relationship again. Yet here I am, with a partner who has never physically abused me, but enjoys needling me, telling me how I used to be, telling me that my daughter is useless, (despite her having a wonderful career and supporting herself without any help from me...unlike him, he who has bludged off me ever since my father died). He tells me what to do, he piles sarcasm on me, he ridicules my illness, (FM), he belittles me and has told me flat out that he does not believe what I have told him about the abuses my ex put myself and my girl through and has said that he can't wait to meet my ex, so that he can ask him if what I have told is true. After all that, he complains that I don't put out enough. Any wonder? I can barely stand to look a him, never mind being intimate. YUK!
Here is an example. This afternoon, I received in the mail, notification from a magazine that I had won a home theatre system. Imagine that! I never win anything! I was absolutely bowled over with surprise and excitement. I then made the mistake of telling him. He burst my bubble, no problem. All he said was, "Great. Now we'll have two tv's that won't work with the tbox. If you had done what I said, you probably would've won something long before now. You and your daughter are the same. You never want to do anything. She's just as bad as you".
I turned on my heel and walked out without comment, into the back garden. I thought I would do a bit of weeding to cool off, before having to spend the night cooped up with him. As I was looking at my flowers, I noticed a plant that we are not allowed to grow, hiding in amongst the foliage. He knows how against illicit substances I am, I told him that from the outset, so he just goes ahead anyway. I would have thought that at fifty, a person would be mature....obviously not, in his case.
I am feeling so resentful towards him right now and I know that the pain will flare up as a result of this. I think I want to end it, but how does one do that, without causing even more drama????
Any advice will be gladly appreciated. Oh, yeah. To make matters worse, all our friends think the sun shines out of his bum. So over it.