Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Cambooya, Queensland, Australia
| | Re: Absolutely sick and tired of it
Thank you so much for your replies. I am amazed daily, by the compassionate and caring replies that members post to each other. I just wish the rest of the world could learn to do the same!I apologise for not getting in touch sooner...I am in a fair bit of pain and the past few days have less than satisfactory!
I will look up the book you mentioned. I guess Fishpond will have it. I was a co-dependent for many years in marriage and despite me vowing to never get in a situation like that again, it seems I need to stop and smell the daisies....'cos they ain't daisies, but stinking roger in disguise!
Well, when we met, he courted me the old fashioned way, you know, flowers, chocolates, little love notes hidden around the house after he left, all that sort of stuff. I warned him that I considered myself, 'damaged goods' and that I had a tonne of baggage and a massive problem trusting males, but he stuck around and helped me get back on my feet. Also, when I met him, I was just beginning to suffer the physical and psychological symptoms of having been a prisoner for thirteen years and he was with me all through the frightening stage where I was being tested for MS, (my mum died of ovarian cancer and ms at the age of thirty two), and he worked tirelessly to provide my daughter and myself a roof over our heads when I was told I had to stop work. Even when my alcohol consumption went through the roof for a few years, he stuck with me through it.
Things started going badly between us when my step mum died. She and I were extremely close and losing her killed something inside me. He could not or would not support me and when my dad became ill with throat cancer and I had to travel between the UK and Australia regularly to help dad my partner became downright nasty, accusing me of cheating on him, of being a daddy's girl, of preparing to leave him, of not loving him...all sorts of things, none of which were true. On the night my dad died, when I told him that dad had gone, instead of giving me a hug, he snarled at me, "Well, I guess your going to eff off back home now, eh? Off you go..eff off!"
Since then, he has refused to work, expects me to pay his bills and all the other things I mentioned previously. I think that he believes that now I have money from dad's estate, I should pay him back for when he supported me financially. The thing is, even when I wasn't working, all of my government disability pension went on food, utility bills, medical bills, school fees, vehicle taxes, etc. All he ever paid was the rent. I paid all the rest.
So now, here we are. Dad is dead. I am the beneficiary to his estate. I have bought us a house, so we don't have to struggle with rent anymore..yet my partner seems to think that I owe him my life. I don't know what happened. He used to be so loving, caring and helpful and now he is just a lazy bum, who spends most of his time in bed, or glued to the tv, stoned to his eyeballs, watching porn. What happened to the man I love?