Re: Absolutely sick and tired of it
You say he's not abusive, but he is. Abuse isn't limited to punching and breaking bones. He's emotionally and verbally abusive. You've traded one abuser for another.
I wouldn't waste time with an ultimatum either. He won't "change" when he thinks you're wrong and he's right! Only people who truly believe they need to can "change". He might pretend to for a week or two just to humor you so he can keep sponging off of you, but it won't last because he knows if you let him stay you are accepting of his abuse.
Why put yourself through months or years more of this? Why can't he leave now? And please don't say "but I love him!!!!" He isn't lovable, no matter what "really great qualities" he might have. He's abusive and a sponge. Nothing "really great" about that! And how he was years ago doesn't matter today. He's not going to go back to being that great guy when he doesn't have to any more. Give him the heave ho and get your life back.