Originally Posted by slenderella
I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time!
You wrote, "But most of all, I am hurt by the lack of compassion, support from my husband". Your husband is in a terrible position. I know this is not what you want to hear so I hope you will at least entertain the thought, but my advice is to be compassionate and supportive and loving to your husband, and see what happens. You can bet that he feels so angry and duped by his parents, so sad that you went on a financial limb to help out, so stressed and burdened and disappointed.... no wonder there's not great communication and touching. YOU be the bigger person right now, and start reaching out. I wish you the very, very best, and I hear that you are hurting.
Actually I am glad to hear what you had to say, most would have just bashed him, with a quick response. He is a good person, a little misguided, but good hearted nontheless. He does feel all of those things by his parents and I can't imagine how it feels. I am used to being the backbone in my family and circle of friends, always the one who has it together, can fix problems, etc...and now I feel embarassed by all of this, that I let this happen to me via my husband. I have days where I try to be the bigger person, I really do, then there are days that set me off in the other direction and of course, he gets the wrath of it.
It is the constant wishy washy of emotions that keep me struggling and I make no progress either way. The family member who I borrowed $$ from knows everything that has happened and has never said one bad word about any party involved. That person truly believes in the honesty and goodness in my husband (and I have yet to see her be wrong with reading people's character over the last 25 years.) I have paid a good chunk of the $$$ back and maybe when it is all paid back i will feel better? Not sure.
Thank you for your insight! I guess it is just hard to see someone hurting when they don't show it. I assume everyone shows their hurt/pain like I do. I will try what you suggested and see how it goes, can't make any promises, but I can try.