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Old 01-27-2012, 07:45 AM   #1
wintergirl82 wintergirl82 is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 1
wintergirl82 HB User
completely devasted. Was my marriage a complete lie?

Hey everyone, I'm fairly new here, first time posting on here ever, and figured I could get some input on my situation. Thanks..

My husband and I, have been together for over 11 years, and we've been married for 2.. We just got a house together about 6 months ago, and things were so good over the last couple of years. However, his family moved in.. about 3 months ago, because they are waiting to have their house built, and it has put a lot of pressure on our marriage.. Not just financially, but emotionally.
After they moved in, things started to change. He began to pull away, and tell me he wanted to go have more guy nights without me, and he would become very angry, if i would tell him that bills were due on a certain date, because we were both reasonable for payin certain bills..he had this things in his head where his money is his money so i can't tell him what he can and cannot buy.. so he was very impulsive with his money.. . Not to menntion the added stress of his parents coming to me and telling me how i should run my house and not to eat their food that they bought, but they would eat our food.. or the fact that we would go shopping, or a night out, whether it would be grocery shopping, or a bar, he would leave me there at midnight, for me to walk home..

My sister in law is also extremely good friends with my husband.. , he had been staying there for 2 weeks before he told me he wanted a divorce.. I tried talkin to him over and over, asking him if everything was ok, and he kept saying, I love you so much everything is soo good. but she on the other hand would start saying things like.. i set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. every time your husband works, so I can be up, when he gets home.. and she knew that there was something going on, but she said.. to mind my own business and let him do what he wants.. I talked to him the other day, and he asked if he could stay another night at their house, and i told him i really wanted him home, and then over the telephone, he said he wanted a divorce and didn't love me anymore. He never loved me over the last 11 years. He said it so casually like it was nothing. Not to mention shortly after that, My sister in law called me up and said, she didn't want to see me, and she didn't want me to see her kids either....it's almost making me believe there is something going on... if not physical.. then emotionally... something is off..

right now, i am living in the house that we bought together, and his family is still there as well, but will be moving very shortly.. I don't know how to deal with this, cause i feel like the past 11 years was a sham.. nothing more.. I didn't just lose my husband, but I lost family too.. I'm just waiting for another bombshell to drop, I put my complete trust in him and he lied to me...... How can i still love someone, that looks at me the way he does. I don't know what to think anymore

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: wintergirl82
pattycakes2012 (01-31-2012), writeleft (02-09-2012)