Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: The States
So... I'm getting REALLY tired of my Ectomorphic figure....
Hi....So, I'm having yet another issue, and I feel as though this one is my most important.
I am an Ectomorph...My physique can be described as extremely scrawny, bony, flat-chested, flat-bottomed, curveless, shapeless, devoid of figure, and generally RECTANGULAR. I am about 5' 6" tall, and I weigh roughly 120 lbs.
It's been proven as fact that it is the least attractive figure a person could have, at least in the polls.
I have tried for years to gain weight, to try to distribute any sort of fat throughout ANY part of my body. It isn't working, I guess because I don't know how to exercise or what to eat. Since I'm such a novice with how to keep up with healthy food, I mainly subsist on junk. I'm often on the go, and of course, all I can get my hands on in town, on my lunch break, etc., is junk, junk, junk. So I know I'm not eating right.
I don't understand why I'm not even gaining weight.
A friend of mine was recently pregnant, and though it did not work out for her, she managed to gain about 40 lbs, and she looks great from what I can tell. She is three years younger than I am. I was once pregnant, and thanks to my disgusting physique and physical limits, I was of course, unable to keep it [not a surprise, really, given my extensive track record of failure], since children obviously don't have the necessary equipment to give birth. Ergo, as I resemble a child...
My friend was pregnant for just over two months. As for me, the pregnancy only lasted a couple of weeks.
So now I keep thinking about these circumstances between her and I, and I feel as though I am permanently stuck in the body of a 10 year old boy. I don't even feel as though I've hit puberty yet. I have, but that isn't the point. I am constantly mistaken for a teenager when I'm actually in my mid-twenties.
I feel completely freakish, prepubescent, boyish, unhealthy, and disgusting. I look nothing like a REAL woman, I feel nothing like a real WOMAN. I'm at my wit's end, and I'm not sure where to turn first, so I came here.
Does anyone know of any good sources of info on how to work my body into something aesthetically appealing? At least just for myself?
Is there a way to do this sort of workout AND attain ''curves?'' I read that the next shape up from the ectomorphic is a meso[?]morphic, and that is apparently the kind of body a woman with properly working hormones will have.
And how can I keep from getting too muscular? Is there a good ''stopping point?''
I'm tired of being ugly. I'm tired of feeling ugly. I'm tired of wanting to puke whenever I look in the mirror. I'm tired of what I am. I have been a wreck over this for days, and my mother is beginning to think I have BDD. Maybe I do. Then again, with her BDD assumptions come the ridiculous kind words she offers but fails to help me with.
Once again, please refrain from the cotton-candy crap about ''all bodies are beautiful.'' In my case, you are wrong or lying, I am not attractive, that is that.
Friends ask me, ''How did you get so SKINNY?" My husband and family tell me I'm ''beautiful,'' but the truth is, their opinions on this matter are meaningless. Simple as that. They are incorrect. Generally, though, I suspect most people are just trying to be nice, working hard to protect me from the truth that any ''beauty'' I might ''have'' is on the inside, and that's it. Sort of like an adult responsible for terrible art, and his best friend showers him with compliments just to avoid crushing the painter's spirits.
If it is one thing I hate, it is being complimented. So please don't. Save it for an idiot. My goal is to achieve a BEAUTIFUL body. Something worth looking at. Thanks.