I wonder if anyone can give me some advise on their experience of mania. (sorry if this is a bit long) I've had depression on and off since i was a teen, which i've had treated once 2 years ago and again now.
I started a new job within my company 6 months ago (an easier less stressful same pay kinda job). I started to have problems concentrating and doing my work, I was late a few times (though i should mention that I am a flexible worker so I wasnt technically late). One of the managers (not mine) pulled me up for it, I'd already been crying that morning and was having difficulty settleing down. So when she pulled me up I totally freaked out and couldnt stop crying and shaking and generrly not making much sence. I was sent home for obviuos reasons and went to the doctor who signed me off work for 1 month but said to come back if i hadnt improved. I was prescribed Flouxetine 20mg daily.
after the month I started feeling better and went back to work as i didnt want to be off too long. I've been back for 3 months now (had two weeks off for xmas). I started to feel all over the place about a month ago, i was struggling already but i didnt feel right and started having problems with my sleep (nightmares and vivid dreams which i've had on and off since i was a child). So I went back to the doc 2 weeks ago and he upped me to 40mg daily and gave me tamezapam to sleep (obvoisly telling me not to take them every night). Since then I've been even more all over the place. This week has been particuarly difficult. I'm finding it hard to concentrate in work, I went out on saturady and got so completely carried away that I blacked out, and my sex drive (which has been practically non exsistent for the last few years) is off the chart. Seriously I cant stop thinking about sex, when i has ameeting with my manager yesterday, it was all i could do not to think about having sex with him - and not am i not attarcted to him, I'm in a long term reletionship. the other weird thing I started to do is obsess about things. I've always had a habit if i watch or read something i need to know everything, so I read a book to keep my mind off things and now I feel i need to read every book the author wrote, which has included me reading in the office when I should be working.
I just want to know if I am overreacting to my reaction or if something is wrong with me. Its worth noting that my mother (whilst we barly talk) has suffered mental illness her whole life, which has included delusions. However i dont know what she sufferes as she claims there is nothing wrong with her (though hard to believe when shes litrarly talking with herself).
Any advise would be much appreacited (ps - I'm a PA in a library so not really a stressful job)