Eagle, sadly this is not an uncommon story. Vascular Dementia can move slowly or very quickly depending on the condition of her vascular system. The trauma of the broken hip, the pain, the surgery, the anesthesia, and waking up not being able to walk on her own are all terrifying and will only make her cognition worse. It is standard procedure to move a hip repair to rehab but most rehab facilities are unprepared to deal with a dementia patient. You Mom is reacting to all she has been through and truly needs the help of a good geriatric psychiatrist who specializes in dementia behavior to evaluate her medications and find a combination that will calm her without sedating her. It is possible.
Your Mom is in emotional distress. What if you woke up with people trying to make you do things that hurt when you had no idea why you were there or what had happened to you? You would fight aggressively, threaten loudly, and try your best to get out of there! We treat physical pain quickly but tend to be less aggressive with emotional pain. Your Mom is in emotional pain. The quicker you get help for her emotional pain the better off Mom will be. Please talk to her doctor about a psychiatric referral to a geriatric dementia specialist in psychiatry. Once Mom is calmed the rehab will go better and she will be more acceptable to a memory care bed.
Ativan and Xanax are not the medications that your Mom needs. These are sedatives that do nothing more than put a bandaide on the problem. THere are other A-typical anti psychotic medications that do work. There is a slightly increased risk of cardiovascular complications with these meds but the blessing of contentment outweighs the risk!!
My Mom has never had a broken hip but I have been through the aggressive, combative, hysterical behavior with her. She spent 10 days in a geriatric psych facility and came out alert but chemically content. That was almost three years ago and it was well worth it. The smiles I received from her today made it all worth while