Am I alone?
Hi, I'm Cordelia.
I am 12 years old and my older brother Hugh, 14, has Autism. It is quite mild and most of the time he is fairly normal. You can tell he's disabled but...it's not so bad.
I am posting this question because sometimes he is so different and it just hurts me. I want to know if I am alone...
(Long story coming up, skip this paragraph if you want)
He gets into rages about the littlest of things. We made a snowman in the snow, and he kept constantly reminding us that he started it. It made me laugh. Our snowman was made by Hugh, Me, My younger brother and sister, Ludo and Patience and my mum. It was huge, taller than our dad. My brother was so proud of it. The next day, the head fell of. Our neighbor had accidently run into it and knocked it down. He'd said he was sorry. Hugh got so angry and upset. he stormed off up to his room and just cried. After a couple of days I though he'd gotten over it, but we (Me, Hugh and Ludo) went for a walk with our dog Mable. Hugh saw the remains of our snowman and got upset again. He started yelling at me and Ludo and swearing and crying and I just stood there, watching him and it broke my heart. he made me feel really upset because he, like always, insulted me and said I was nothing, and because he's my older brother, it hurt. Then, we got home and he said: "I'm sorry Cordelia, about getting angry. I just get so angry and I don't know why" It made me cry because he doesn't understand.
Everyday, I go out and face the world when I just want to stay at home and cry. My brothers disablity effects me so much and makes me feel so upset and angry and alone.
I just want to know if someone...anyone out there knows what I am going through...knows how hard it is. I just want to know if I'm alone.