I am also on the West Coast. I'm hoping the antibiotics take away a lot of my symptoms. It is hard to know whether this constant sick feeling is from one of the meds I am taking, the surgery sites, the infection or some other factor I haven't thought of!
You do a really good job of summing up this experience! You said,
"One thing I've learned about this is a little progress doesn't mean total progress without digression."
Friends and family ask how I am doing and this is such a hard question to answer briefly. It seems like a roller coaster, feeling a little better one day with the hope of things looking up and then awful the next day. Sometimes, it feels like I get a little relief and then take a giant step backward and wonder when the digressions will leave me alone and disappear for good.
I'm glad you're seeing your crs soon! Maybe he can shed some light on what is going on. Can you actually see and/or feel your stitches? I have been terrified to to touch that region because of the extreme discomfort but had to yesterday to put a cream on it (I think it's part of the infection healing process). I was so grossed out by what I felt that I became dizzy like if I kept my finger down there any longer, I would pass out.
I had a sentinel tag on my fissure-a flap like piece of skin that was excruciatingly sore. It was removed and I don't know if it is this or something else, but I have a swollen lump around the same area. I want to be optimistic but I am concerned that the texture of my anus will forever be changed. My crs looked at me yesterday so it must be normal as he didn't mention my little lump. My sutures are dissolvable so I don't know if they're even there anymore. My fissure was deep and I can't say I truly ever felt the stitches. I can't feel my fissure site all that much other than it feels like it is there. The incision site is still giving me all the troublesome feelings which I hope and pray in time will heal.
I feel that God has been there every step of the way and is getting me through this. We will get through this and get our lives back. At times, I have felt my hope dwindling but both God and good friends/family have helped to bring it back up. The most important gift anyone can give us is hope and support. I am here if you ever need someone to listen. Before the surgery, I had throbbing pain episodes lasting up until 9 hours. Sometimes, only a towel or blanket could get me through if I could use it as a bite guard. Sometimes, screaming could help get my mind off the pain. I don't know how I endured it. I guess I am stronger than I thought. I understand how awful it is.
I still can't figure out a way to give you my personal email or more info about me. My internet is a bit unpredictable at the hotel and my email works great but this forum doesn't always load for me which causes delays in me getting back to you. I literally have to hold my iPad toward the end of my bed or center of the room for my post to go through which requires movement on my part! Hope this made you laugh because it is quite a scene! Although, this is miserable experience, I haven't lost my sense of humor-well, sometimes!
My husband is my hero. We our very playful and laugh often. He can't do anything without making me laugh which would normally be a good thing!!!! I don't know about you but laughing too hard actually makes me hurt down there! Just now, after the second bowel movement of the day, I jumped in the bath because I had to try and clean the area. It was rough! My husband tried to help by using a plastic squirt bottle (the one used to clean myself after a bowel movement) to spray warm water on me while in my bath to help me relax and be comfortable but he didn't realize he was spraying somewhat cold water at me. He got me in the face and my rectum just hurt from laughter! My husband thought it was funny to untighten the lid to the plastic bottle while spraying me so it would pop off at me because he wanted to keep me laughing! Good times but my rectal area did not take the laughter easily.
Despite the laughter, I am scared. After the bowel movement today, my husband looked concerned because the area was very swollen. I can't see the darn thing so it makes me worry!! How does something get this bad?
The antibiotics cause a very bitter taste in my mouth so that the water I drink taste awful. I have stopped the Miralax in hopes of going less often because I need a break from the symptoms! I didn't take any pain meds today, hoping I could get through it on my own.
Were you able to get some relief today? I hope so.