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Old 02-20-2012, 08:46 PM   #9
tearsnfears tearsnfears is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: kansas city, mo usa
Posts: 274
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Re: not sure I can make it thru this week.

I feel as thought it has been forever since I started the meds. I met with the pdoc last week and while I am going back next week for another appointment he was really pushing me to talk about things I am not ready to talk about like on our second appt I am going to open up and tell him everything already. I know that is the point of our sessions but I don't feel as though I completely trust him yet so how the hell am I supposed to just bear my soul.

I had my evaluation at work today, my bosses (yes plural) were going around the table telling me what I need to do to improve and all I could think of was wanting to hurt myself. It wasn't a bad review I just was so stressed out that I was trying to stab myself under the table with my fingernails and I wanted a knife to cut myself with. Now I am at home and it is all I can do not to concentrate on the negative portions of the review and not the good things. I wish that the meds had showed a significant improvement because I am still realy down and having issues with getting out of bed.